17 May 2005

English as she is spoke

Questions from Thai secondary school English exams — multiple choice. Choose carefully!

1. When I went to school, they _________________
a. made us worn
b. make us to wear
c. make us wear
d. make us wears

2. "__________ does Momo have? It has 100 kilos."
a. How weight
b. How far
c. How many
d. How long

3. "His house is near __________ river."
a. a
b. the
c. that
d. some

4. I __________ ever been to Chiang Mai.
a. have
b. have to
c. was
d. will

5. A police officer is chasing a robber and wants him to stop. He shouts, "__________".
a. Stand up!
b. Cool!
c. Sit down!
d. Freeze!

That last question has a clear answer, but I included it because it was probably prompted by the fatal shooting of Yoshihiro Hattori, a Japanese exchange student in Louisiana, who went to the wrong address for a Halloween party and failed to understand the armed homeowner's order to "freeze". Sadly, it's essential knowledge for any foreigner who visits the US and doesn't want to get shot.