"Metallic penile adornment"?

Here's an article you won't want to miss, on "the terrible, terrible things that some men do to their dicks". It'll make you giggle or cringe, depending on your gender. Here's one bit that will haunt me for a bit (sorry):

Always - if you must disregard rule five — check said orifice first. This includes knot holes in trees. Knot holes are often nested by creatures who may misinterpret your intentions.

On the "setting your penis on fire" front, during my first year in college I had the good fortune to witness the final performance of the Flaming Mouse, in which a member of my college would douse his penis in lighter fluid and set it on fire, to the delight and amazement of a large and very appreciative audience. He did this a total of ten times over the course of his college career, and said that it felt like a mild sunburn for about a week afterwards. Still, it's not recommended.

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